


Just The Thought Of His Touch (My Mind Explodes)

by poetdameron



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: 5 + 1 Things, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Mild Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-28
Updated: 2018-08-28
Packaged: 2019-07-03 15:12:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15821481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poetdameron/pseuds/poetdameron
Summary: Ryan has the perfect height for forehead kisses, so what else can Shane do but kiss him?Or, five times Shane kissed Ryan's forehead and one time Ryan kissed him first.





	Just The Thought Of His Touch (My Mind Explodes)

**Author's Note:**

> Good freakin' Monday night, gays! This was, for once, one good day so I decided to post. All the thank yous in the world to my dear friends and my beta, you are awesome. Now, enjoy the gayness of this.
> 
> Edited by [sabotaging-ivy](http://sabotaging-ivy.tumblr.com/) on tumblr, who always super kind to me and one of the best people in the world. Thanks for everything!
> 
> If you have tumblr and you liked this, please support me by reblogging the [original post](http://yaboybergara.tumblr.com/post/177470566542/12-adding-on-to-your-forehead-kiss-post-can-we)!

**Just The Thought Of His Touch (My Mind Explodes)**

**I**

Shane was way too tall.

He made tall people feel small, and he made Ryan feel smaller than he was. It freaked him out at first because— because back then, he was drunk on fear and insecurities, and could not stand being seen as anything else than a strong, masculine type of guy.

So there was this guy.

All lanky limbs, perfect beard, gorgeous hair, easy smile and so, so tall. It was fucking ridiculous, and as he got to know him better, he could see and almost envy the way this man could be so secure about himself while having his healthy amount of doubt he never allowed to stop him from doing whatever he wanted.

He could use any color, wear any type of pants when he, miraculously, found a pair that fit, and he could flirt freely with anyone he wanted.

They went out for drinks together for the first time at almost four months of knowing each other, Shane towering Ryan at his side as he tried his best to maintain him straight, walking him to a taxi and to Ryan’s apartment where he was promised could crash and not die going home.

For a skinny looking guy, Shane was sure heavy and Ryan almost thrown him like a sack of potatoes on his couch when they were home, the man laughing his ass off as if getting shitfaced at fuck off o’clock in the night on Tuesday was okay. But Ryan smiled anyway, and walked to his kitchen to get him some water and some meds for tomorrow morning.

“Night, night, Ry.” Shane said to him when he announced going to sleep, Ryan smiled up at him and, before he could answer anything, Shane leaned down, kissing his forehead for the first time.

Ryan said nothing.

He didn’t push him away, didn’t tell him to fuck himself, nor he reacted as bad as he thought while remembering this year after. He just swallowed and smiled weird at the man, walked away as fast as he could, buried his flushed face on his pillow and yelled.

Fuck guys. He liked them way too much some times, and others he just hated them like you do. This one in particular, so magnetic and full of life, fuck him so much.

It made him feel certain way, Ryan decided to ignore it for the rest of the year.

**II**

It happened again so long ago, when Ryan had finished his longest relationship so far and had felt like if the world was colliding over him and no one, nobody, could ever bring him back to the surface and show him the shining sun again.

Shane had become such a good friend to the man, and he thought they worked well together, one day he almost told so to Ryan, almost told him he thought he would ask him first to be in Unsolved with him, he almost let the man know he was jealous and a little bit disappointed.

Back then, as Ryan tried to survive a friendly, yet hard for him, break-up, Shane had tried his best to suppress all feelings that weren’t friendship he had towards the younger man, hoping he would never find out or if so, that for some unknown force that doesn’t exist, Ryan could be fine with it and not get him away in his desperation to keep his image.

“You’re a good friend.” He murmured, Shane looked up from when he was taking Ryan’s shoes off and smiled. “I don’t deserve you.”

“Don’t say that.” Shane chuckled, looking down to hide his blush.

Ryan was acting drunk, but Shane knew him well and had been the entire afternoon and night at the bar, knew perfectly he could take certain amount of alcohol and that today’s show was something more.

He was just this sad.

Shane let him sleep on his bed that night, hoping the man would feel better the next day or just soon. But then, the man was stopping him from leaving, asking him to stay and sleep with him.

It was a lot to ask, Shane wanted to say, even if he couldn’t explain why to Ryan. Instead, he said nothing and just laid next to him, long limbs all to himself, Ryan’s back to his face until his friend moved, facing him with closed eyes, reaching out to him.

“You should be in Unsolved.”

“Uhm,” Shane swallowed, just looking as Ryan wrapped his arms around him and cuddle himself to his crossed arms over his chest. “Three people are better than two, I guess.”

“Brent left.” He answered, Shane’s arms felt lose, Ryan moved them away and cuddle himself on his chest. Shane blinked a couple of times. “Had no time for it, doesn’t even like crime that much anyway…”

“I’m sorry, man. What are you planning to do?”

“Just asked you.”

Shane said nothing, just moved his head a little, tried to look at Ryan’s face but the man seemed too comfortable to follow his lead. So, his lips pressed on Ryan’s forehead, scent all around him, the man humming pleased against his neck, and Shane swallowed once more.

“That’s nice…”

“I’ll do it.” Shane said, Ryan nodded against his lips and pressed again, finally hugging back.

“You’re a good friend, I know you won’t leave.”

They never talked about it, just went on with the show.

**III**

Ryan hated this place.

It had given him something to obsess over to the point this was his job now, but he swore to never come back and yet— He sighed, looking at the ceiling as Shane slept at his side like if this place wasn’t a horror pit came from a nightmare. He moved on his sleeping-bag again, trying to feel comfortable enough to maybe fall asleep.

“For fuck’s sake…” He heard at his side, Ryan blinked while turning around and saw Shane with a frown, looking at him. “Are you ever gonna sleep or do I have to sing you a song and tell you a bedtime story?”

“Fuck you.” Ryan chuckle back, but Shane wasn’t smiling. He looked irritated, a face Ryan wasn’t used to. “I’m— I’m sorry.”

“C’mere.”

Ryan blinked a couple of times, looking at the space between them. It reminded him of how much his heart beat every time Shane was too close, how much he thought of him sometimes, how nice he smelled and how warm his bed had been that night so many months ago.

Shane groaned, moving himself towards Ryan with his sleeping gear. Ryan watched as the man put their makeshift beds together and went back under the covers, frowning.

“You are such a little shit.” Shane murmured, voice empty of any hatred. “Come.”

“What—”

“Ry, just—” He licked his lips, biting his bottom lip, eyes not meeting Ryan’s. It almost looked like if he was afraid. “I know you are scared; I just want to help.”

“Uhmmm…” Ryan finally moved closer, not sure of what was to come until Shane’s long arm was over his hip and he had closed his eyes again. “Shane?”

“Goodnight, Ryan.”

Ryan blinked again, shoulders relaxing at the scent on his nose, the fingers caressing his back gently. His head landed near Shane’s nose and, slowly, he started to drift to sleep.

His friend kissed his forehead. Soft, warm, almost scared of doing it. Must had thought he was asleep. Ryan’s eyes opened and he stared at Shane’s chest and neck, the way the man swallowed made him think—

It made him realize.

Maybe he wasn’t the only one overthinking shit.

**IV**

Videogames with Ryan were fucking torture.

In spite of Ryan’s terrible taste in console and type of games, the man wasn’t so bad at each, yet Shane considered himself better. Probably because he had nothing better going on in his life but his PlayStation and all games that called his attention, Ryan would wheeze at that if he said it out loud.

Shane smiled at the thought, watching Ryan frown while losing again.

“You just suck, man. You suck.” Shane murmured, not really that concentrated on the game to know where Ryan went wrong, but acting as if he knew. “You gotta admit it sometime, Ry. You can’t be the best at everything, and def— this isn’t for you.”

“Shut the fuck up!” He all but yelled, frowning deeper and making Shane’s smile wider. “This is your fault!” He announced. “This is all your fucking fault!”

“What?” Shane laughed, the game over and Ryan throwing the control on the couch, not looking at Shane. “How’s that my fault? I wasn’t playing!”

Ryan looked at him immediately, eyes wide open as if caught doing something wrong. Shane was the one frowning now, not understanding— had he said something he shouldn’t? Sometimes he couldn’t tell with Ryan.

“Ry—”

“Nothing! It’s nothing!”

The way looked and sounded so nervous would had made him come with a hundred and half jokes to make, shit to say, ways to make him even more jumpy. But not today, it seemed. Today was– there was nothing especial about it, just them being silly on a Sunday morning at his apartment.

“Baby,” he called. And every time Ryan looked at him with those eyes, commanding his every move with just the wave of his hand, responding to all sweet names Shane could come up with for him, everything inside him moved and screamed to be near him. “What is it?”

But Ryan said nothing, he just looked firm, as if thinking the best way to make his next move. It reminded Shane of how brilliant this man was, how he stood by his own and conquered anything he wanted to, included him.

“I really, really…” Ryan started, looking at him right to his eyes and Shane felt himself smaller. “Really, really like you.”

He blinked, trying to understand.

“You are distracting.” He explained, his eyes still on Shane.

So. It was Shane’s fault he had lost this game because he was dis– Ryan liked him. Shane jumped on his feet right away, scaring Ryan in the process as he saw him approach him like a little dog who had just seen his owner for the first time all day, climbing on his personal space, to his lap and Ryan laughed.

He laughed with that precious sound that made each day worth living, Shane cradled his face with his hands and looked at his handsome face without thinking he should probably give him a real answer, but his wishes were different.

For so long, he had wanted to kiss his friend– and Ryan responded to that in the same way, kissing him back sweetly, hands on Shane’s hips as their lips seemed to recognize the other, as if they had done this a million times before.

Ryan had a bittersweet taste, of coffee and chocolate, and the salt of the popcorn, and it was now his favorite thing in the world. His tongue so soft, Shane wondered if he would get away with wanting to stay like this forever.

“I like you very much, too.” Shane said, forehead against Ryan.

The man wheezed between their mouths, Shane kissed that smile three and four times more, then his forehead, enjoying the way Ryan had closed his eyes and had melted on his touch, like if this was the place he loved.

**V**

God, Shane was gonna be the death of him. But what a way to go.

“You okay?” He asked, his voice sounded like if Ryan was underwater and he slowly opened his eyes, looking up as the man became cleared and cleared with every slow breath Ryan took. “Baby?”

“I'mmmfine…” Ryan said, not sure if his boyfriend was able to understand him but Shane’s smile said otherwise. He leaned forward over him, kissing his nose and then his lips.

“And here I thought that had been too much,” Shane smirked, Ryan frowned at the sight, knowing well some bullshit remark was to follow. “Who would have said Ryan Bergara was into some kinky shit–”

“Oh, fuck you…” He murmured, rolling on his side to not see that smug face he so much loved. Shane laughed above him, sitting on the bed and caressing his side.

The way he was feeling, it was such a different high from other times he has had sex with Shane– or with anyone, for that matter. He had noticed before, the edge of something he couldn’t quit name that only this man was able to touch, and he always tried to chase it to not vail. This time, they had reached it together.

“It’s called subspace, sweetheart.” Shane explained as if reading his mind, or maybe Ryan had talked out loud. “You’ve been out for almost two minutes.”

“What?” Ryan tried to stand but his ass was sore, cheeks probably still red, legs still feeling like jelly. “Shane—”

“It’s okay.” He kissed his shoulder, then went down kissing his arm, his side, his ass and ass-cheek, ghosting a bite in the middle of it. Ryan giggle at the contact, still feeling like floating, like– not there, but oh so real. “I’ll teach you, baby.”7

The way Shane had said that, it made him shiver in response, eyes searching for his– his boyfriend. The man smiled with something new on him, all that devotion and love he only had for Ryan, the known lust— another kind of desire, that spark of amusement and pride he showed while gloating around demons, showing another kind of power that always seemed like the most dangerous joke to Ryan, and now— now he understood.

“I can fuck you better.” He murmured, leaning in to kiss his forehead, all that possessiveness Shane tried to hide and Ryan was loving more and more, present and real.

Ryan smiled to himself, knowing he had lucked out.

**\+ I**

This time, Shane had no excuses.

He couldn't laugh this out, he couldn't just play it as part of his act of fucking up with Ryan's fear while making him laugh, feel both, scared to nearly death and safe at the same time, knowing Shane would never let anything happen to him.

"I'm so sorry." Shane tried.

Ryan looked right away at him, finger up, painfully signaling him as he walked to him, angry like never before.

"Shut the hell up, man." He said, not yelling and yet sounding like if he was about to end everything between them and Shane swallowed. "What the fuck—don't you, like... appreciate your fucking life, do you really wanna die just like that?" He frowned, Shane opened his mouth to say something, but Ryan kept talking. "Look at you, you are a mess! You could had gotten hurt!"

"Ryan—" Shane moved to grab him by the shoulders, Ryan kept yelling.

"You could die, Shane!" He said, Shane's hands on his shoulders and tears about to leave his eyes.

They were silent then, the lights of the ambulance casting new colors on Ryan's face and Shane's head.

His boyfriend wasn't angry at him—well, yes, he was—but he was worried, he was scared. For the first time while in a place like this, he was scared of something else than shadows in the wall and wind that speaks to him. Shane's grip on the man fell and Ryan sobbed softly, cleaning his face with a hand.

Shane looked forward, to the material the firemen had taken away to rescue him from the small collapse he had provoked with his bullshit as he jumped, trying to call the attention of the supposed demon in this house.

Nothing had happened to him, except a ruined jacket, white hair and a few scratches, and a very pissed off, worried to no end, scared as hell, boyfriend.

"I'm so sorry, Ry."

Ryan looked down, furiously cleaning his face and trying his best to stop crying. Shane moved again, hoping this time the man would accept his comfort. And with his forehead against his chest, Shane hugged him to notice his fucking shoulder actually hurt.

Fuck.

"I love you." He murmured against Ryan's beanie, the man's arms rounded him tightly and Shane smiled.

"Fuck you." Ryan said back, Shane's smile widened. "I love you, too, you fucker."

Shane laughed, moving slightly to kiss Ryan's forehead. His little guy closed his eyes, softly moving forward to—kiss his chest. Shane blinked, looking as Ryan's hands landed one over his chest and the other on his shoulder, and the man kissed over his beating heart again.

"I know you don't believe something will come for you every time you open your goddamn mouth in these places," Ryan said, low enough for only Shane to hear as people moved around them to leave the house and the scene. "But you can't die on me, like—never."

"Never? I have to live forever because you say so?" Shane joked.

Ryan looked at him the same way he had when he first confessed, two years ago. "Yes." He answered, hand on his chest.

Swallowing, Shane put his own hand over Ryan's, feeling slightly how intense his heart was beating.

"Okay, sweetheart. I won't die on you."

Ryan's eyes fell closed, a sigh of relief leaving his body as he leaned on Shane's chest, hugging him thigh. Shane smiled, hugging him back as he thought.

Perhaps it was time to put a ring on forever, and he had the perfect plan for it already.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Does this has anything to do with [And Longer If I can](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15146768)? MAYBE.
> 
> Also, the line "I can fuck you better" was totally inspired by a fanart from the DBH fandom I can't find at the moment but I will link on this once I find it because-- because it needs to be seen and cherished.
> 
> Thank you all for reading! Maybe I'll see you on [my tumblr](http://yaboybergara.tumblr.com/)? Have a good day!


End file.
